So retarded...

I hate the word “retarded” when it’s used to insult someone.

In this age of political correctness, I know people are tired of all these “special interest groups” who insist on exchanging common word usage for PC lingo: He’s not a ‘janitor’, he’s a ‘sanitation engineer’. She’s not ‘chairman of the board’, she’s ‘chairperson of the board’. Ugh. I hate it too, I really do

But I draw the line at calling someone retarded. Because retarded is actually a medical diagnosis. My sister is mentally retarded, as a result of cerebral palsy. So when I hear people tossing out the phrase “Oh, he’s retarded” as an insult, it gets my back up. My sister IS retarded.... so just what are you saying when you use it as an insult? I try not to let it get to me, but it does. Seriously, there are so many excellent insults out there..... why take the easy way out and use a word that can cause so much pain to so many? Here’s just a few:

• His elevator doesn't reach the top floor
• He checked out of Hotel Brainy years ago
• If he was any more stupid he would photosynthesise in sunlight
• He's ten cents short of a dollar
• She's a macaroni salad short of a picnic
• He's got a rip in his marbles bag
• She hasn't got both hands on the steering wheel
• When you look in his eyes you can see that there is no one driving
• Lights on, door open, no one at home

I could go on and on.

The double-standard here is I use the words “crazy” and “psycho” to insult people. And that must hurt people who suffer from mental issues just as much as retarded hurts me. I’m working on it. I hope you do too.

What Happens in Vegas......

Well, after months and months and months, it’s finally here. I’m going to Vegas this week!

It’s an extra special trip, because not only will I be relaxing poolside with margaritas, playing Blackjack at night and generally having a good time sans child, I’ll be doing it with 5 of my most favourite people who I’ve never met (ok, I met one of them once for an hour at a McDonalds in Florida, but that was not nearly enough time).

You see, I’ve got a group of ladies I met online when we were all pregnant with a May 2007 baby. And somehow, a large number of us have managed to stay together, through the ups and downs of “real” life. These ladies have literally saved my sanity, helped me raise an awesome child, listened to me when I was down, cheered along with me when I was up, and basically been there no matter what.

No question or comment about poop, vomit, sore breasts, stretch marks, losing weight (moms), gaining weight (children), ridiculous outfits, appropriate restaurant etiquette and insane MILs is ever greeted with anything other than sympathy/laughter/wisdom.

The only bad thing about this trip is how many of us couldn’t make it.

Love you all!!!

Long Weekend!

Hooray! I hope everyone has an amazing one! I took a long weekend last weekend and got some glorious cottage weather! With the forecast for this weekend in hand, I'm planning on a lot of indoor stuff: cleaning, laundry and computer work.

Life seems so much sweeter with an extra day to work, although not go to work.

Everyone be safe and have fun!

A Pox on You

I never seem to run out of topics to bitch about, but I do run out of time. I initially thought I’d be blogging on a daily (if not hourly!) basis, but my reality is, I’m busy. Maybe it’s because it’s summertime, and I’m filling every spare moment with some fun activity. Or perhaps I’m just lazy. A. would vote for the latter, I’m sure.

Speaking of A., you have to feel badly for the poor guy. For whatever reason, that man seems to catch every single disease that goes around daycare. Even diseases that R. herself doesn’t catch! He’s had Hand, Foot and Mouth, Pink Eye, Roseola, every flu and just recently? Chicken Pox. Have you ever seen a middle-aged man with a case of the Pox? Not pretty. And the whining..... oy vey.

And now, just as his spots have started to scab over, he’s come down with a case of pink eye. I think I’m going to start calling him Typhoid Mary. Except I’m afraid he’d really come down with that too.

Air Canada Blows

I hate Air Canada.

I have Aeroplan points. An awful lot of them. Because, like a fool, I believed collecting these points would allow me to travel for free whenever my little heart desired, as long as I planned somewhat in advance. Ha.

Collecting the points is easy. I had my credit card linked to my Aeroplan card, and every dollar I spent gave me an air mile. Cool, eh? Except actually booking a flight is next to impossible unless you book 1.5 years in advance, or you’re trying to fly to Iowa. Lots of available flights to Iowa.

I have been attempting to book a weekend flight to Vegas in September since March. MARCH. I gave these weasels 6 months notice of my plans, and do you think I can book a regular 25,000 point flight? Of course not. However, if I want to book using the “Specialty” flight options, I can pay 121,000 points and get there whenever I want.

Let’s say that again. There ARE seats available. I just have to use almost 5 times the points I *should* have to use in order to get them. Right. Because that makes fiscal sense.

And Air Canada wonders why more and more of us are willing to drive to Buffalo. And they probably also wonder why I cancelled my credit card and got one that just gave me money back instead.

This is why I’m bitchy.

Wedding Fail

It's the August long weekend.  Not even arguably the most glorious, revered long weekend of them all - it wins hands down.  Historically speaking it's usually hot, sunny and perfect for cottaging, beaching or whatever other fine outdoor activity you can think of that involves water and beer and relaxation.

What I am doing this long weekend you ask?  The long weekend that I have been looking forward to since last August?  If you guess not going to Beav's cottage, you'd be right (maybe next year Beav!)  I'm going to a wedding.  A WEDDING.  Who the heck plans their wedding on this, the most glorious long weekend of them all?  If you guessed people who have lived in Bermuda too damn long, you'd have guessed right.  What do they care that this is the only weekend all year long that the planets align perfectly over southern Ontario to produce ultimate cottaging weather?  They have amazing weather 365 days a year (excluding hurricanes).

If you're reading this Steve and Sarah, I love you guys  I really do.  How can you tell?  Because I'm coming to your wedding.  I am getting all dressed up on this, the most glorious three day weekend known to mankind, and driving to landlocked Kitchener to watch you exchange vows.

All I can say is it better be an open bar

Home Alone

A. will be heading to Sault Ste. Marie in about 20 minutes until Friday, and I'm wondering why my overwhelming feeling regarding this or any impending trip of his (business or othewise) is utter glee.  I can't wait!  I LOVE being alone at home.  Especially those fabulous hours after wee girl has gone to bed.

Life certainly isn't easier with him gone... I have to do daycare drop off and pickup, which is in the opposite direction of work.  In addition to my usual tasks of cooking dinner and cleaning and putting wee girl to bed, I have to feed the cats, do the garbage and...ummm....hm.  What else does he do around the house?  I think that's a rant for another day.  But I'm going to contemplate that while I'm HOME ALL ALONE!  Yippee!!!!  I'll even be working from home tomorrow, in theory because daycare dropoff and pickup and 8 hours work and 2.5 hours of commuting is almost physically impossible, but in reality because I'll have the whole darn house to myself!

Honey, I won't miss you.  I'm sure I"ll be glad to have you back, but sorry to say, I won't miss you.  Maybe you need to take a week/month/year long trip in order for me to really miss you.  Let's talk about that when you return.

xos